Uncle Coop

In honor of Cooper's pending nuptials, I would like to display the following shining moment of his (gotta love the music that was added):

Put this on your resume:

27

How I ended up with the Garter:

This is a tale of deceit. While you're at it, throw in some backstabbing, trickery and betrayal. Yes. It's that bad. A few weeks ago, I was in Houston for Kimberly and Wes's wedding having a good ol' time near the dance floor. All of a sudden, everybody scatters away from me like I had just farted (for the record, I had not farted). "What's going on?" I thought. "Was it something I said?". Nope. "Am I going to explode?". Unfortunately, it was far worse. It was the dreaded Garter Toss and I was the only participant (cue the horror-movie music). I scanned the crowd, hoping to guilt trip another single dude to join me. Apparently, no guilt trip would be strong enough for the task as it took an "Et tu, Brute?" moment with Bollich for me to realize that I was going to have to tough this one out on my own.

They say girls dream and obsess every day about their wedding. Well, my theory is that, in this opposite-and-equal-reaction world that we live in, the flip-side is guys have nightmares about the Garter Toss for their entire lives. Maybe into the after-life? I don't know. I wouldn't bet against it. I'm sure lives have been ruined because of it or even wars fought due to this horrible event.

Luckily, my life has not been ruined. And I will spare a principality or two by not going to war. In the end, I would like to share that it was not as bad as you would think. In fact, I got to take a picture with the lovely couple and will forever be immortalized in their wedding album. They'll probably tell stories about me to their grandchildren and how I beat up 10 other gladiators who were all twice my size (or was it two other gladiators at 10-times my size?) to obtain that garter.

Alas, my friends! I will spare you the pain of having to read words any further! Jonathan with Garter!

(note the clean-shaven, mustache-less face)

Celebrations!

Today marks the one year anniversary of my last post! Hooray! Please join me in celebrating by belting out your favorite song in the most bizarre of places - "I'm a Little Teapot" in the elevator on your way to/fro work, "Ice Ice Baby" in your next meeting. Those are just a few examples. Please be creative. I look forward to hearing from you as to how you enjoyed your JPinLA post-iversary.

What started out as a log to document my temporary stay in LA has morphed into a way to keep in touch with my friends and family spread out across the world. I will try my best to post every-other week to do my part to keep in touch. Please enjoy:

Halloween

A few weeks back, I decided to travel to my favorite place in the world: Austin, TX. The reasons were twofold: UT football game and Halloween party at Blaine's new digs. It was a great time to see old friends and take in an awesome autumn day in the Hill Country.

Now, the main point of my post: my costume. Please don't skip to the end or you'll ruin it for everybody...okay, probably not. To save you some time, I will help you determine who I was for Halloween. Tom Selleck as Magnum PI:


Now, here is Jonathan Patrick as Magnum PI:


Please note the attention to detail - from the pose (look at how my right hand pokes out just like the original!), to the Detroit Tigers baseball cap, to the shirt. Did I mention that the mustache is real? I don't mean to toot my own horn, but that is some serious dedication for a Halloween costume.

Granted, my hair could have been a bit shaggier or I could be leaning against a Ferrari Testarosa or even my head could have been tilted the other way, but if you're going to be picky, let me help you out. Please scroll a bit further and click on the intro to the show with its famous theme song and then scroll up quickly to my picture (it's the second one, in case you can't tell). I don't want you to just look at my picture with some random theme song playing in the background. I want you to gaze at my picture (like those 3-D pictures) and allow your senses to be overwhelmed.



See? Now you get it.

I look forward to hearing from everybody and make sure to spread the word that JPinLA is back.

Mr. Bob Barker, come on down!!!

The weekend after Biscuit Bowl featured a visit by Todd and Chris J and the focus of that visit was a trip to the Price is Right. Let me just say this: it was a full day affair. Wake up at 4am to stand in line at 5am to get our order of arrival number at 6am to come back to stand in line at 8am to get our tickets and then return at 10am to stand in line for our Noon interviews for a 3pm taping. Basically, at about 2:50, I was a little tired to the point of nearly out-of-control giggling (this is explained below), a little hungry and thinking I wasn't going to be doing this again. That all changed when the doors to the studio opened and the lights turned on! The studio is very tiny - maybe 15 rows deep, holding about 300 people. I was on an aisle, so if you watch this episode (it airs December 8), you'll get to see me giving high fives. You'll even get to see some lady that leaves me hanging as she runs by me as I'm obviously awaiting a high five from her. The seventy-five minute taping was a blur - very high-paced. I didn't even know what was going on half of the time, so most of my yelling and screaming don't correspond with the action on camera. Todd, Chris J and myself did not get to hear those famous words, "(insert your name here) you're the next contestant on The Price is Right....come on down!" but it was a memorable experience to say the least. Even more so with this looking to be Bob Barker's final season.


The Giggling Incident
Ok. I need everybody to think to themselves for this exercise. I want you to spell the state where you live. Pretty easy? I want you to get drunk, spin around in a room with flashing lights and spell your state backwards. Still pretty easy, right? Apparently this is wrong: there was a group of people in line near us from Oklahoma who had managed to misspell their home state as "Okalahoma" on their shirts (I'll help out those of you who aren't spelling wizards as you note the first 'a' doesn't belong) Even worse: it's not like they realized it when they made the shirts and thought they'd go ahead and wear them any way since they'd spent so much time and effort on them, they realized this at about 2pm. So, they managed to wear these shirts that made them look like idiots for about 10 hours before it dawned on them that there was an error. I wish I had a camera to take this picture (they wouldn't allow cameras in the studio). I wish I had a camera to take this picture more than to take a picture of somebody playing Plinko. Okay, not really, but you get my point.



The Interview

I guess a lot of people think that the choice of contestants is at random. Au contraire! The producers interview everybody (in groups of 12) to make sure they get the liveliest people possible. They're not fools and realize they are producing entertainment, so they don't want to get a dud on-stage. I think we were doomed from the beginning because here is the dialogue from my interview:



Producer: Hey Jonathan, where are you from?!?!

Nearly comatose (from exhaustion) Jonathan: Hooouuston, TEXAS!!! (OK. I am exagerating my enthusiasm a bit here)

Producer: What do you do?

Ashamed Jonathan: Uhhhh.....accounting.

Producer: Alright, well enjoy the show!! (proceeds to the next interviewee)



I'm going to make stuff up next time I go.

Long overdue installment:

Okay, okay, I'll put something up on here. Although I'm sure most have given up on checking this, I will revive it with more posts and pictures of my goings and ons. Spread the word.

JPinLA via Helena, Arkansas:

Tim and Abbey were gracious hosts for a weekend of festivities for Biscuit Bowl V (October 6-8). From the Bonfire on Friday, to the football game on Saturday afternoon, through the festival on Saturday evening, a good time was had. Definitely good to see old and new friends alike. I should probably just go ahead and book my flight for next year. To the side is a picture of the headline band, The Fabulous Thunderbirds - we learned that not only was Jimmie Vaughan not part of the band anymore, but it had been over 15 years since he was a member. Quite a shocker.

Larry Flynt
Driving around the Beverly Center, I notice a Bentley with the License Plate "HUSTLR." This car was luxed-out, even by Bentley standards. I don't think I'm going out on a limb assuming that it is Larry Flynt (or at least the Larry Flyntmobile). Thank goodness for cell phone cameras (I snapped this while stopped at a stop light).





Other Observations
Some biker was weaving through traffic on his Harley with a Skull on the back of his jacket, with the phrase, "Death before Dishonor." Quite the intimidating character except for the Bed, Bath and Beyond bag that was draped around his arm.